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My top 15 excuses for not finishing my novel yet

Kylie Fennell

This week a friend of mine told me his novel will be finished by the end of the year.

He has a full-time job and three kids, but he has been super disciplined and through sheer determination and hard work…he will have finished.
I’m really proud of him but…it just reminded me how terribly far I have to go.
I have been analysing all the reasons why I still haven’t finished.
It’s been probably 7 years since I started my two novels.
Each of them is around 100,000 words – so I guess I should congratulate myself for getting that far – and now I am at the revising stage.
The revising stage is WAY before the editing stage.
It’s when you go back over things you wrote, maybe 7 years ago, and say “what was I thinking, that is complete crap!” or “maybe I should just completely change that character or plot line”…great idea, I’ll just go back to the start again.
To be honest, I’m not really sure why I have been dragging it out this long, but after some analysis I can tell you here are my top excuses.
1. I hate the revising stage
2. I really should be working instead
3. Oooo Dr Phil/Gogglebox/Masterchef is on the TV
4. I really should be playing lego with my son
5. It’s too late tonight – I’m tired
6. It’s too early to get up – I’m tired.
7. I’m too busy trying to get my business up and running
8. I might just have a ‘quick’ look at Pinterest
9. My writing is crap
10. Maybe I should do some more research
11. I need to clean the house
12. I’ll just take a little break for lunch
13. ‘You have mail’ pop-up
14. I’ll do it tomorrow
And here’s my favourite one.
15. I need to write my blog post (about why I’m not writing) first.
Anyway, I’ve got to run, as I am definitely going to work on the book today…hey look a bright shiny object!
So what are your favourite excuses?
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***Update. The first three novels are completed and just in various stages of editing. Just need a publisher now : ) And keep on writing, right ***

My Imaginary Screenplay Playlist

Kylie Fennell

When I write, I always try to visualise each scene and character as if they were in a film.

It’s incredibly important for me to be able to ‘see’ it as if it was really happening.

It may also reveal my secret ambition; that my books will be so damn good, they’ll become movies.

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big right?

Now if you have an imaginary screenplay, you also need an imaginary soundtrack.

With all seriousness, when I need a little inspiration for writing I turn to a playlist that resonates with my story or characters.

So here are my top 5 picks from my imaginary soundtrack playlist.

1. Game of Thrones Theme (Cello Cover) by Break of Reality 

My book is set in a medieval period reminiscent of Game of Thrones and this version is incredibly moody and emotive. Love it.

2. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac

I’m a bit of a sucker for Stevie Nicks and her rawness, and this song features an animalistic drum beat that sets the pace for a great story.

3. I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons

I love the tone of these guys’ voices, the folk style instruments and the storytelling in their lyrics.

4. Find the Southern Land by Simply Bushed

These guys are an Australian bush band and this song tells the story of the search for the land Down Under. I love the historical aspect but also the sea shanty style fiddle.

5. Big, Big Love by Troy Cassar-Daley

When it comes to storytelling and just a genuinely beautiful spirit you can’t go past Troy. An amazing songwriter, performer and great bloke – he also hails from my home town of Grafton, so yes I’m biased but also super proud of this Little Eagle.

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Why I’m heading down the rabbit hole

Kylie Fennell
“Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?’

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!’ (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT- POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.”

–      AND so begins Lewis Carroll’s, Alice in Wonderland.

Like Alice in Wonderland I go about my day-to-day life hopeful of falling down a rabbit hole and discovering new ideas or worlds. Sometimes that rabbit hole will lead to a different perspective or it might lead to a fantasy world where dragons live.

I have written before about dragons and their place in fantasy writing but not about rabbit holes.

So let me start where it began: Alice in Wonderland.

Lewis Carroll, of course, didn’t invent rabbit holes, but his story about a girl who falls down a rabbit hole into an unknown, disorientating and magical world has inspired many uses of the term.
For me I’d like to start with the story itself and the white rabbit.
I love from the first page its deceptively innocent beginning. The idea that an ordinary young girl bored with her life has her world turned upside down after seeing a talking rabbit with a pocket watch, and ‘burning with curiosity’ she follows him.
How wonderful it is for Alice and the reader to be totally surprised. Carroll uses simple but precise words that say exactly what needs to be said. ‘Burning with Curiosity’ – there isn’t a better way to say that.
THAT IS the kind of feeling I want to inspire in my books.
Now though to the term “down the rabbit hole”.
There are several commonly accepted meanings.
  1. A metaphor for entry into an unknown world
  2. Falling into and becoming entrapped in a nonsensical situation or environment
  3. A slang expression for a psychedelic experience
  4. Going on a never ending search on the internet where one search takes you to one page, that takes you to another, that takes you to another and so on
  5. It is also associated with philosophical and existential thinking in search of the true reality but also the notion that venturing too far down is probably not that great of an idea.
Which definition do you prefer?
Lets look to Alice when she says to the Cheshire Cat: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here? And the Cat replies: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
For me where I want to get to is simple.

The promise of a rabbit hole is finding magical and extraordinary in every day life. Letting my imagination take me to bizarre and interesting places. It’s the possibility of these adventures becoming wonderful stories. And while the rabbit hole is a nonsensical escape, I can always come back to the real world when I’m ready.
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Stop the rot! Why we need to use ‘real’ words

Kylie Fennell

I have an important message for you.

As a leader in my field, and as part of my ongoing commitment to best practice, innovation and sustainability, I constantly strive to generate evocative statements that inspire and empower my stakeholders to achieve and exceed their expectations and bring their overarching vision, mission, goals and objectives into critical alignment, while ensuring operational and strategic methodologies are in synergy.

OR I could have said…

I use words that speak to my audience.

Yep, this post is about Weasel Words, Motherhood Statements, Corporate Speak, Buzzwords – or we could call it what it really is…WORD ROT…or in the spirit of this blog…a steaming pile of excrement from an intact adult male of the species Bos Taurus.

Like Wood Rot eats aways at the structure and foundations of a home, Word Rot eats away at the meaning of our words, destroying the integrity of our statements.

I call on all corporates, business owners, marketers, actually everyone to have their rot detector on high alert when writing.

Forget corporate speak – you need to write and speak like you mean it, write like it’s a real conversation, speak to your audience, and mean what you say.

Our audiences are smart people and trust me can read through the rot – if you want cut through in your writing…it’s simple, stop the rot!

Here are my Top 10 Tips to Stop the Rot

1. Are you saying something, or a lot, without actually saying anything?

2. Is your statement vague or non-commital? eg. It is said by experts that…

3. Are you using buzzwords because you think you should? eg. We’re committed to innovation and sustainability

4. Are you making vague generalisations?

5. Is it hard to understand the meaning?

6. Are you making commitments or claims with no evidence? eg. We’re an Employer of Choice

7. Are you using weak verbs or action words? eg. ‘strive to’, instead of ‘will’

8. Are you trying to bamboozle the audience?

9. Are you being misleading or ambiguous? eg. replacing ‘firing staff’ with ‘streamlining the workforce’

10. Have you chosen words or a phrase because you think it’s a popular sentiment? eg. Our employees are our number one priority.

AND BONUS ROT DETECTOR TEST…

Could you put all the words you used in almost any order and they still make sense? If you answered yes, you have some A-grade rot on your hands there my friend.

Now for a bit of fun…here is a corporate speak generator where you can turn words like: ‘vision’ into ‘enthusiastically e-enable an expanded array of infrastructures’ and ‘innovation’ into ‘dramatically empower B2C synergy’.

If you need help stopping the rot, get in touch with me via www.kyliefennell.com or check out my post on choosing the right words for marketing.

A picture tells 100,000 words

Kylie Fennell
When your’e writing fantasy it often involves creating worlds that don’t actually exist. I find that it’s critical to find pictures that represent or inspire the kind of places in my imagination.

Here are just a few images that tell part of my 100,000 word novel. If you want to see more images like this follow my Pinterest board.

Woman Warrior by pan.li75 used under CC BY 2.0



Moraine Lake, near Vancouver





Secret Falls, Nantahala National Forest, Highlands, North Carolina, USA found via youtube.com




Sherwood Forest – Nottingham, England, found on gloholiday.com

The Writer’s ‘Real Job’ Dilemma

Kylie Fennell

This is bad! I mean really bad.

My day job – you know the one that almost pays the bills – is so ridiculously busy at the moment that not only haven’t I got time to do any writing, I don’t have time to write a proper blog post either.

I wonder at what point you should bite the bullet and ‘write’ full time?

Actually I know the answer to that question. It starts with at least finishing the book, which brings me to my dilemma.

So yes I’d like to write my fictional work full-time, but in the meantime I need a ‘real’ job, but hang on if I have a real job, how do I find the time to write, and if I don’t get time to write and finish this darn book how can I justify writing full-time…a Catch 22 that has plagued aspiring writers through the ages.

Don’t mind me, just having a whingefest and trying to madly pad out this blog post – I keep looking at the clock – must get school lunch, uniform, bag packed, child ready for school and then go to real job!!!

Arghh…maybe I’ll have time to write next week…every aspiring writer said.

Seriously though…you need to brace yourself because that book is on it’s way, real job, school lunches or not. I promise!

Teachers are awesome (well at least the awesome ones)

Kylie Fennell

There was a time when I wanted to be a teacher. I’ve ‘kind of’ done it a few times. I taught English in Japan, I have worked as a Business Trainer in tertiary education but I have to be honest I know it’s not the same as being a teacher.

I have to say it, teachers are awesome. Well the awesome ones are!

You don’t know an awesome teacher until you meet one, but trust me you’ll know.

My son had a brilliant kindy teacher and his prep school teacher is spectacular – patience of a saint and while she is lots of fun, she also has boundaries in place. I couldn’t have asked for a better teacher for my son.

Sure we all remember the not so good teachers – the ones that threw chalkdusters at your head, put us on ‘scab’ duty (that is, pick up garbage in the playground in your lunch break), but you’ll NEVER FORGET the awesome ones.

I remember my kindy teacher Mrs Widseth very fondly – she taught me in my first year of school. To be honest I can’t remember much other than she was really good to me and for me.

Mrs McBeath was my drama teacher as well as our Year Teacher all the way through high school. Love your work Mrs McBeath!

The one that I credit the most though for my love of history and English was Mr Gibson. There were times we tested that man’s patience beyond what any normal human being should have endured…but he bore it with a smile and his passion for what he taught was infectious.

He was the person who introduced me to Jane Austen. At the time I bumbled and struggled my way through Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion and while I certainly didn’t fall in love with it straight away (I was 15 so cut me a break here), his perseverance kept me coming back to it in later years.

So whether you’re an English teacher, Prep Teacher or even a Math Teacher, thank you for being awesome!

PS There were heaps of other teachers who were just as awesome to me and I haven’t forget you either…Mr Taylor, Mr McPherson, Miss Rudd, Mr Hickey, Mrs MacPherson, Mrs Preston…the list goes on I promise. Thank you!

The olden days – what’s the appeal?

Kylie Fennell

Ever since I can remember I have been obsessed with stories set in historical periods.

The historical period didn’t really matter – as long as it was a different time and place.

My husband would say: “Is that another ‘Olden Days’ story your reading/show your watching?”.

The main attraction for me I think was the (perceived) romanticism or days gone by, kings, queens, costumes and escapism.

In more recent years I’ve leant towards historical fiction and I’m not the only one.

Historical fiction has gained some serious traction in recent years. A few of my favourites include Ken Follet’s Pillars of the Earth set in the Middle Ages and Fall of Giants set in World War I; Philippa Gregory’s Respectable Trade about the slave trade and her Tudor and War of the Roses series; and Hilary Mantel’s Man Booker Prize winning Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies, which told the story of Henry VIII’s adviser Thomas Cromwell.

So what is historical fiction and why is it so appealing?

Generally speaking it is set around historical events or characters, feature language and style that evokes the time period and may confront difficult, or anachronistic, social issues through the plot.

For me the best historical fiction has well-researched facts about the events and characters and these blend seamlessly with the story and fictional elements. I accept that many characters may be invented or some of the known facts may be massaged or embellished but at its core there has to be a level of authenticity.

I love the idea of getting to know another time or place that actually existed but in an engaging and entertaining way that can sometimes only be achieved via fictional elements.

It’s important that I believe the characters could have been real people who lived in that time and could within reason have acted the way portrayed in the story.

I guess the crux of it is that I like non-fiction and history, but I’m a lazy reader and want to entertained.

Judge me if you wish but the Olden Days with a bit of artistic licence is my happy place.

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Reading

Go and get happy. Read!

Kylie Fennell

Over the years I’ve gone to a few different leadership courses for work. Some stick in my mind for different reasons.

There was the one that had half the room sobbing uncontrollably within the first 30 mins of a four day course – surprisingly a good course.

The one though that I remember above all included a moment that is etched in my memory – I remember it clearly because I vehemently disagreed with the speaker.

The so called business expert and leadership coach said something along the lines of: “If you ever want to succeed in life and business, you must only feed your mind with non-fiction educational and learning materials.”

What she meant by this and I recall her actually saying was: “Watching any form of reality TV or content that is purely for entertainment purposes, is a complete waste of your time and brain, and will affect your ultimate success”.

This point was debated for some time. In the room were people including myself rapidly justifying to her why we watched reality shows and other “TV junk”. We were desperately seeking her approval.

In the room we had people who worked intensely busy jobs (including myself at the time), where it wasn’t unheard of to work 60 hour weeks. We had former journalists, emergency services workers and soldiers who had been on the frontline.

We argued that these people (us) deserved a little escapism. Time to watch something that required no thought. With no other purpose than to be entertained.

The speaker shut us down again, reinforcing her message that we were “wasting our lives”.

Now we weren’t talking about people who watch what may be considered an unhealthy amount of TV but everyday people who had a sense of fun. She was unmoved. We would “never succeed”.

So okay TV programs, especially reality TV may be a subject of huge debate, but what the speaker said next shouldn’t be – heck as far as I’m concerned she had lost the plot.

She claimed to be a leader and a success you should only read “NON-fiction” books that are designed to “feed your mind”.

Apparently fictional books don’t “feed your mind” with anything useful.

To be honest I kind of felt sorry for her at this point . If you can’t enjoy reading in any form that you wish, then your mind isn’t being fed. It is being starved!!

It doesn’t matter whether you enjoy reading Mills & Boon or Man Booker prize winning literature.

It doesn’t matter if you do prefer non-fiction or your favourite item to read is the footy magazine.

Reading should make you feel happy, contented, alive, informed, entertained even sometimes it should make you sad or even angry. The bottom line is that reading makes you “FEEL”. Having your emotional needs met DOES feed the mind.

If you don’t believe me, read this article in the New Yorker about how reading makes you happy.

The same goes for TV and film to a certain extent. You shouldn’t have to justify to anyone why you like watching a particular show or movie.

I’m going to put it out there: I love A LOT of reality TV (for varying reasons that I don’t have to justify). You may judge me but I love Goggle Box, Masterchef, My Kitchen Rules, Real Housewives of Anywhere, but I also love drama, documentaries, crime…I love stories.

Stories, imagery, people, words…they are my oxygen…I must have more information…I must feel something…yes watch what you want, but more importantly read what meets your needs and your mind will be fed.

I saw a quote once that “a library is a hospital for the mind” and that members of the jury is where I rest my case. Go forth and read and watch whatever the heck you want!

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My Top 5 Marriage Proposals from Literature

Kylie Fennell
Who doesn’t love a bit of romance between their favourite characters? It gets me thinking about my favourite marriage proposals in literature – starting with Mr Darcy of course.
 
 
1. Pride and Prejudice – Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett
Mr Darcy declares his love to Elizabeth, though it took two shots to get it right.
“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
2. Anne of the Island – Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe
Another 1 of 2 marriage proposals.
Gilbert [took] her hand in a clasp from which she could not free it. “There is something I want to say to you.”
“Oh, don’t say it,” cried Anne, pleadingly. “Don’t — PLEASE, Gilbert.”
“I must. Things can’t go on like this any longer. Anne, I love you. You know I do. I — I can’t tell you how much. Will you promise me that some day you’ll be my wife?”
“I — I can’t,” said Anne miserably. “Oh, Gilbert — you — you’ve spoiled everything.”
“Don’t you care for me at all?” Gilbert asked after a very dreadful pause, during which Anne had not dared to look up.
“Not — not in that way. I do care a great deal for you as a friend. But I don’t love you, Gilbert.”
“But can’t you give me some hope that you will — yet?”
“No, I can’t,” exclaimed Anne desperately. “I never, never can love you — in that way — Gilbert. You must never speak of this to me again.”
There was another pause — so long and so dreadful that Anne was driven at last to look up. Gilbert’s face was white to the lips. And his eyes — but Anne shuddered and looked away. There was nothing romantic about this. Must proposals be either grotesque or — horrible? Could she ever forget Gilbert’s face?
3. Jane Eyre – Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester
“Come to my side, Jane, and let us explain and understand one another.”
“I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and cannot return.”
“But, Jane, I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry.”
I was silent: I thought he mocked me.
“Come, Jane — come hither.”
“Your bride stands between us.”
He rose, and with a stride reached me.
“My bride is here,” he said, again drawing me to him, “because my equal is here, and my likeness. Jane, will you marry me?”
4. Gone with the Wind – Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara
“Say you’ll marry me when I come back or, before God, I won’t go. I’ll stay around here and play a guitar under your window every night and sing at the top of my voice and compromise you, so you’ll have to marry me to save your reputation.”
5. Emma – Emma Woodhouse and Mr Knightly
“I cannot make speeches, Emma,” he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing.—”If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am.—You hear nothing but truth from me.—I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.—Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover.—But you understand me.—Yes, you see, you understand my feelings—and will return them if you can.
What did she say?—Just what she ought, of course. A lady always does.—She said enough to shew there need not be despair—and to invite him to say more himself. He had found her agitated and low.—Frank Churchill was a villain.— He heard her declare that she had never loved him. Frank Churchill’s character was not desperate.—She was his own Emma, by hand and word, when they returned into the house; and if he could have thought of Frank Churchill then, he might have deemed him a very good sort of fellow.
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