Spirit. I could go all deep and meaningful on this word, but today I want to keep things light.

It’s 1 December and as far as I’m concerned it’s the official start of the Christmas season – and celebration of the Christmas spirit.

Yes there’s the Peace On Earth, Good Will Unto all Men kind of Christmas spirit. Love it, high fives to that.

Then there’s a time to spend with family and loved ones. Count me in!

But then there’s the other bits I just LAARVE! Continue reading “Shout Out to the Christmas Spirit” →

My personality type lends itself to taking action.

I’m highly strung, generally optimistic, love a challenge and just want to get in and get things done.

As a result, I find it difficult to understand people who always talk about doing something, but never get around to it.

You know the types: gonna, shoulda, woulda, coulda.

If you choose not to take action on something you think needs to be done or should be done, then that’s your choice, but it’s worth asking why you haven’t taken action yet.

What’s really stopping you? Don’t make excuses, just ask yourself what’s the real reason? Is it fear of failure? Is it not knowing where to start? Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Continue reading “Be an ideas and action kind of person” →

I didn’t want to write about today’s word – acceptance.

For a split second I considered screwing up the piece of paper and throwing it in the bin. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t the word I had picked from the jar. But that would have defeated the purpose of my Out of the Jar project.

You see I have mixed feelings about the concept of ‘acceptance’.

On a positive note, accepting yourself and others for what they are is a powerful act.

That’s the kind of acceptance I fully embrace.

Then there’s the ‘accept those things I cannot change’ kind of acceptance.

This is a little harder for me but pretty darn important. The key is being able to identify first, ‘can this situation be changed, or not’.

I’m a pretty tenacious and mostly optimistic person, as well as a part-time control freak (I’ve been working on this, so I like to think I’m a little control-freaky than I used to be). So when I’m presented with something that can not be changed or fixed, my first instinct is to see it as more of a ‘challenge’ than an ‘impossibility’.

On the whole though, I’m getting better at recognising what can and cannot be changed.

Then there’s the other kind of acceptance. The one that comes hand-in-hand with grief.

When a situation doesn’t turn out the way you want or expected, or you suffer some kind of loss or failure, you’re encouraged to ‘accept’ what has happened, so you can move on.

But depending on the situation, moving on can be a heck of a lot more complicated.

Does accepting the situation mean that you aren’t recognising, remembering or in some cases honouring what happened or the loss? That by moving on you are betraying someone or something of importance? I have come to learn, via a rocky path, that the answer is no.

I watched an old West Wing episode recently where a trauma counsellor told a character that it was possible to remember what happened without reliving the trauma over and over.

Remember without reliving. I liked that.

What if your loss is a failure of some sort, does accepting mean you have to it give up? Does it mean you won’t succeed in the future? No it doesn’t. At least I don’t think it does.

Over the last 12 months I have come to learn (with a little help) that acceptance is accepting that what has happened, has happened. But for me it also means accepting that success in some areas of my life may be difficult (in fact far more difficult than for others) but not impossible. I accept that in some time in the future I may need to surrender some dreams, but I don’t need to accept it right now.

Accepting is not giving up. Acceptance, moving on, tenacity and remembering are not mutually exclusive for me.

Acceptance in its many forms is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. That is what I remind myself.

‘Acceptance’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my Out of the Jar project here. 

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PS This blog post is based on my personal experiences only. If anything I have written is an emotional trigger for you please contact a mental health professional for advice, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au/gethelp.

“Nurture: care for and protect (someone or something) while they are growing.”

When mums think about nurture, they default to the idea of nurturing children and family.

This of course is something we all do. We must do. Nurturing others is a primeval instinct imprinted in our DNA and honed over millions of years of evolution – a mother cub must protect her young.

However there is more to nurturing than that. What I like about the above definition of nurture is that it incorporates growing or growth.

The ultimate gift we can give others (including our children) is to enable or empower them to reach their goals and their full potential – to grow.

But what about yourself? Why don’t we put just as much energy into nurturing ourselves.

Why do mums in particular put themselves last?

A good friend of mine talks about the ‘last lamb chop’ principle – something she’d heard or read about somewhere – but simply put, it’s the scenario where a mother serving up dinner, more often than not, saves the meanest, least appetising, shrivelled up or burnt lamb chop for herself.

I know I do this myself. You only take what’s leftover after nurturing for everyone else.

The facts are that if you burn yourself out meeting others’ needs, or sacrifice your dreams to help others, then at some point you won’t have the energy or inclination to nurture others.

That is, there’s a reason why flight attendants tell you put your own oxygen mask on before attending to others.

To effectively nurture others, you must nurture yourself first.

Take time out to look after and care for yourself. Follow your dreams. Chase opportunities for personal growth.

Yes it’s possible nurture yourself, as well as others. You can have the first, second and last lamb chop and eat it too.

‘Nurture’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my Out of the Jar project here.

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Usually when I speak about trust, I speak in business terms. I talk about the value of building trust with your stakeholders and customers before asking for anything from them.

Today though I want to focus on trusting yourself and your work.

Editing my book has been a rollercoaster of a process.

Some days I’m really happy with my progress and the words before me, on the other days I have massive crises of faith.

I ask/say to myself:

‘Who wrote this rot?’

‘Well this clearly doesn’t work.’

‘How am I going to fix this?’

‘No one will ever want to read this.’

Today won’t be one of those days…I am determined to maintain the faith.

Today happens to be the day I set aside each week to devote to my editing and I’ve been looking forward to it, while dreading it at the same time.

I have a very difficult chapter to fix…no let’s say revise. It’s the first chapter and it’s not quite right, but it will be.

I have to trust myself and my abilities, I have to trust the process.

What exactly does that mean though? Trust the process?

Whether I’m editing my book or going through a business or personal journey (I nice way of saying dealing with crap and doubt), I like to think trusting the process is believing that it will all work out somehow.

Believing, working hard, doing your best, believing more and trusting that the universe will provide when you’re ready.

Trusting the process to me, is to follow your intuition and your heart and fully believe you’ve got this, that it will happen…all without facts, knowledge or evidence to confirm your belief.

Believing and trusting without proof and without a fixed timeline…it’s really bloody hard to do that sometimes…but today at least I will let go and trust the process.

‘Trust’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my Out of the Jar project here.

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I have a wonderful, quirky client, who after a tough year on a personal and work front  is really owning her uniqueness – she has embraced what makes her different and made it central to a new business and brand.

A well-known public speaker and marketing guru I admire wrote a book recently owning his personal struggles with mental illness and abuse.

At his book launch he said something like: ‘people say to me that it must be hard getting up and being so open and honest about this, but it’s a lot easier than trying to be something you’re not’.

Own…it.

I overhead a boy I liked in Year 7 say to my friends that I was a ‘weirdo’.

He was probably right. It’s only taken 25+ years but I’m okay with being weird. I’m prepared to own it.

And while I like to think I’m perfect, I know that I’m not. There are things I wish I was better at, business paths that probably make more sense than the ones I’ve chosen, but at last I’m owning it. I’m following what feels right.

And today at least, I’m okay with me, my choices and imperfectionism.

Owning it means we can be the most awesome versions of ourselves…yes we can be authentic, weird and fabulous! You just need to own it.

‘Own it’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my Out of the Jar project here.

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