Category: Out of the Jar Project

I’ve always been fascinated with the truth.

First there’s the concept of telling lies.

As a general rule I don’t tell lies.

White lies at times perhaps. Omissions maybe.

But not big fat porky pies.

Continue reading “Truth. Can you handle it?” →

Admire. Out of the dozens of words I could have randomly chosen from the jar today, I chose ‘admire’. A little spooky when the last post I did was on the word ’emulate’ and I spoke about a few famous people I admire.

I’m very fortunate to have loads of role models in my life in the shape of family members, friends and some colleagues but there are others I admire too….and strangely enough, I probably don’t even know them.

It may be even you! 

Continue reading “Guess what…I probably admire you” →

Pause. Take a temporary break or rest.

At this time of year things seem to really speed up.

Work. Family. Social events. They hit a crescendo at Christmas time.

If you’re anything like me you have set an ambitious list of tasks that need to be finished before Christmas, so when it gets to Christmas you can take a break.

But the problem with this approach is you can burn yourself out preparing for a break, and when you do get to the break it doesn’t feel like one at all.

This is why you need to pause every now and again.

Continue reading “Pause. A short stop can change your journey for the better.” →

Spirit. I could go all deep and meaningful on this word, but today I want to keep things light.

It’s 1 December and as far as I’m concerned it’s the official start of the Christmas season – and celebration of the Christmas spirit.

Yes there’s the Peace On Earth, Good Will Unto all Men kind of Christmas spirit. Love it, high fives to that.

Then there’s a time to spend with family and loved ones. Count me in!

But then there’s the other bits I just LAARVE! Continue reading “Shout Out to the Christmas Spirit” →

My personality type lends itself to taking action.

I’m highly strung, generally optimistic, love a challenge and just want to get in and get things done.

As a result, I find it difficult to understand people who always talk about doing something, but never get around to it.

You know the types: gonna, shoulda, woulda, coulda.

If you choose not to take action on something you think needs to be done or should be done, then that’s your choice, but it’s worth asking why you haven’t taken action yet.

What’s really stopping you? Don’t make excuses, just ask yourself what’s the real reason? Is it fear of failure? Is it not knowing where to start? Are you feeling overwhelmed?

Continue reading “Be an ideas and action kind of person” →

I didn’t want to write about today’s word – acceptance.

For a split second I considered screwing up the piece of paper and throwing it in the bin. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t the word I had picked from the jar. But that would have defeated the purpose of my Out of the Jar project.

You see I have mixed feelings about the concept of ‘acceptance’.

On a positive note, accepting yourself and others for what they are is a powerful act.

That’s the kind of acceptance I fully embrace.

Then there’s the ‘accept those things I cannot change’ kind of acceptance.

This is a little harder for me but pretty darn important. The key is being able to identify first, ‘can this situation be changed, or not’.

I’m a pretty tenacious and mostly optimistic person, as well as a part-time control freak (I’ve been working on this, so I like to think I’m a little control-freaky than I used to be). So when I’m presented with something that can not be changed or fixed, my first instinct is to see it as more of a ‘challenge’ than an ‘impossibility’.

On the whole though, I’m getting better at recognising what can and cannot be changed.

Then there’s the other kind of acceptance. The one that comes hand-in-hand with grief.

When a situation doesn’t turn out the way you want or expected, or you suffer some kind of loss or failure, you’re encouraged to ‘accept’ what has happened, so you can move on.

But depending on the situation, moving on can be a heck of a lot more complicated.

Does accepting the situation mean that you aren’t recognising, remembering or in some cases honouring what happened or the loss? That by moving on you are betraying someone or something of importance? I have come to learn, via a rocky path, that the answer is no.

I watched an old West Wing episode recently where a trauma counsellor told a character that it was possible to remember what happened without reliving the trauma over and over.

Remember without reliving. I liked that.

What if your loss is a failure of some sort, does accepting mean you have to it give up? Does it mean you won’t succeed in the future? No it doesn’t. At least I don’t think it does.

Over the last 12 months I have come to learn (with a little help) that acceptance is accepting that what has happened, has happened. But for me it also means accepting that success in some areas of my life may be difficult (in fact far more difficult than for others) but not impossible. I accept that in some time in the future I may need to surrender some dreams, but I don’t need to accept it right now.

Accepting is not giving up. Acceptance, moving on, tenacity and remembering are not mutually exclusive for me.

Acceptance in its many forms is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. That is what I remind myself.

‘Acceptance’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my Out of the Jar project here. 

To stay in the know about my writing projects and to receive regular writing tips and content like this, sign up here.

PS This blog post is based on my personal experiences only. If anything I have written is an emotional trigger for you please contact a mental health professional for advice, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au/gethelp.

“Nurture: care for and protect (someone or something) while they are growing.”

When mums think about nurture, they default to the idea of nurturing children and family.

This of course is something we all do. We must do. Nurturing others is a primeval instinct imprinted in our DNA and honed over millions of years of evolution – a mother cub must protect her young.

However there is more to nurturing than that. What I like about the above definition of nurture is that it incorporates growing or growth.

The ultimate gift we can give others (including our children) is to enable or empower them to reach their goals and their full potential – to grow.

But what about yourself? Why don’t we put just as much energy into nurturing ourselves.

Why do mums in particular put themselves last?

A good friend of mine talks about the ‘last lamb chop’ principle – something she’d heard or read about somewhere – but simply put, it’s the scenario where a mother serving up dinner, more often than not, saves the meanest, least appetising, shrivelled up or burnt lamb chop for herself.

I know I do this myself. You only take what’s leftover after nurturing for everyone else.

The facts are that if you burn yourself out meeting others’ needs, or sacrifice your dreams to help others, then at some point you won’t have the energy or inclination to nurture others.

That is, there’s a reason why flight attendants tell you put your own oxygen mask on before attending to others.

To effectively nurture others, you must nurture yourself first.

Take time out to look after and care for yourself. Follow your dreams. Chase opportunities for personal growth.

Yes it’s possible nurture yourself, as well as others. You can have the first, second and last lamb chop and eat it too.

‘Nurture’ is today’s word out of the jar. Read more about my Out of the Jar project here.

To stay in the know about my writing projects and to receive regular writing tips and content like this, sign up here.